end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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