i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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