He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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