is your mom at the bar?
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
