OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
