Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
