i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize