Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
