Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
