just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
