How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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