i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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