Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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