im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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