she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
