Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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