I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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