my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
