Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize