I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
