sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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