Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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