I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
