its not stalking. its research.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
