At least make sure they are 18
Why
honey bunches of taint.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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