i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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