OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
