You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
