i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How does one acquire holy water?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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