But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
