Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
