I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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