Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If that was your dad, he is hot
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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