You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He better not be in your backpack
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
