guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
