Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
