im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just google imaged poop.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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