did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I don't think brook has ever known best
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
