She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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