Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
