but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I am available for nakedness
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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