how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
