just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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