I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
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I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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