I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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