he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
