everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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