We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
