have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
