ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
