Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
