Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
