My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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